I was abused as a child, but only mentally. My father wouldn’t let me in the house, favoured my brother over me and called me all kinds of horrible things. He said I’m not his daughter if I don’t respect him. I’m starting to think it’s bc of the turkish culture, where men get prefered over women. All of my turkish female friends had a similar experience. That made me evolve an antipathy/dislike for turkish people/men. What helped me was seperation and talking about it. I also got bullied alot during the abuse.(mostly by boys) I guess because I was too insecure. I’m 19 now and still don’t have a boyfriend. Probably bc my head keeps thinking “If not even your father loved you, no man will”
This sounds like a very difficult childhood! I urgently recommend You to find therapeutic help soon!
Have a look at: http://www.bundeskanzleramt.gv.at/service/Frauenservice – look for Frauenberatungsstellen (women’s counselling centers) I think, You can get consultation in turkish language also.